NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

. .ARE stupid.

I sit in my kitchen counter where in front of me, is a luscious looking 2L bottle of coke (not diet, not coke zero, but real, amazing, original, sweet, fizzy coke - FRESH from the fridge, to boot!). I focus on my laptop's entertainment, keeping my eyes on the screen.. occasionally letting my eye glance to the coke bottle - so guiltly, too - then quickly glance down to my keyboard...fumble with my fingers..and force myself to continue reading my blogs and sing with ke$ha* to block out my mind.

Then I start to let my head toy with the idea of taking a glass, filling it with ice, and pouring the coke into the glass.. I am now in sensory overload! I'm salivating like pavlov's dogs and my eyes at this point are fixated solely on the coke bottle.

Then I start rationalizing - I've done pretty good .. having only one glass of coke sometime last week. I can have just half a glass, it'll take care of the craving.

Then I get mad - good god, christine, get a hold of yourself, IT'S POP! I go get a glass of water and unfortunately (but expectedly) I am not satisfied - not even close!

Then I get an overwhelming sense of determination! I AM BETTER THAN YOU, YOU SUGAR FILLED CHEMICAL DRINK! I will overcome you! Just becuase you've been in my life since forever,doesn't mean I CAN'T CUT YOU OUT.

Then I say FUCK IT, open the bottle and poor me a full glass on the rocks. (very hastily as though someone is going to stop me**)


I drink it, enjoy it in the moment.. not thinking about anything but..

ahhh...

soo goood...

Then immediate regret (like the kind you get as you walk out of a store post- purchasing a ridiculous overpriced blouse for no real reason except the fact you have irrational 'needs' for apparel***)

Then writing a facebook note about this whole experience.. humorous NOW, definitely psychotic mind processing at the time.




SO CHEERS TO NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS.

CHEERS also to falling off the bandwagon, because it's gonna happen.. AND

CHEERS to having the strength to hop right back on, because you sooo CAN!





*who, btw, is tied in my books with lady gaga these days! amazing!
**adrian wasn't around, so i was in the clear!
*** i promse this hasn't happened in the last year.