MY PARENTS

They leave me random notes on the dining table for me to find in the morning. Sometimes informative, sometimes rude, sometimes making me feel like I can't do much on my own. I guess this makes me feel a little young again! (*in response to my previous post)




*chicken: my diet food
**milo: my prince of a dog
***parking meters: I had jury duty downtown that day.

QUATER CENTURY LIFE CRISIS

I'm turning a certain age sometime soon and I've been dreading it more and more as it draws near. I don't know what the rationale is behind this very IRrational fear - I've been putting a lot of thought into it and I think I've nailed it! I am scared that life is passing me by far too quickly. Or I think I've just got this pre-contemplated list of 'THINGS TO DO BEFORE I'M 30' and I've just only barely scratched the surface (which, essentially is the exact same as the latter).

In response to this fear of turning ....*whispers... twentyfour, I've been participating in activities and doing things I've never done before. Ok, don't get too ahead of yourself, I make these 'activities' sound so rebellious and daring, but I assure you, they are not.

: I DYED MY VIRGIN BLACK HAIR. (cut it again too, damnit, so much for growing it for the wedding!) So no big deal, right? Not at all! Ive been wanting to dye my hair for a while, always too scared! I call the salon at noon hoping to book for next week, and I was in the salon chair by 4 that same afternoon. impulsive, spur of the moment and I really didn't know what colour I even wanted..

: I PIERCED MY NOSE. I've also been wanting to do this for a very long time, always too nervous because my pain tolerance is as low as a 3 year old's. I woke up, just today, and walked right into a local piercing place. Voila! I have a ring on my right nare and my mother nearly ripped it off when she saw me for the first time. "WHAT DID YOU DO!" *shakes head in shame. Again, implusive decision

: I STARTED A BLOG. I've always had a journal and I enjoy writing in it. But who uses real journals these days anyway> So grade 6! Either starting this was an attempt to 'stay with the times' or I've finally realized that typing things is way more efficient and neat (vs writing).

: TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. Taking care of myself suddenly became a sort of ultimatum for me. I have a fear that if I don't start NOW, I will be old, alone, obese and disease ridden by the time I'm 45 (push 50). I look at my photos from even a year ago and I've actually said: I AM PASSED MY PRIME. I tell everyone this, and they look at me like I've got shit on my face. I'm passed my prime, and if I don't take care of myself starting NOW, I will be further and further from that peak.


I'm turning 24. Which is almost 25. Which means I'll be married soon. Which means I'll have kids soon, a house sooner. Which means an array of new and life changing responsibilities. I guess I'm just accustomed to the kind of life I have currently and I don't want things to change - even though, all of these changes are actually FANTASTIC.

.. am I scared of change?

MENSTRUATION

Menstruation: A period of time (usually lasting from 4-6 days) when a woman's uterine lining is shed after being thickened throughout the previous weeks. This event normally occurs once a month. A woman typically begins (menarche) menstruation at around the age of 12 and menopause may begin around the age of 52. (Let me break that down for you: that's 40 years of menstruation. 40 years multiplied by 12 months equals 480 times that a woman - on average - may experience menstruation. FOUR HUNDRED EIGHTY!)

PREVIOUS to these 4-6 days, a woman may experience a variety of uncomfortable symptoms. I'll list some here: moodswings, bloating, cravings, acne outbreak, headaches, migraines, severe/immobilizing abdominal pain, extreme irritability, back pain, and fatigue - to name a few.

DURING the 4-6 days, a woman has to worry about: leaks - which requires consistent checking, odours, hygiene, inability to participate in activities she normally participates in, wearing really uncomfortable feminine products and inability to sleep comfortably because of the high chance of nasty leaks. (Can I get any more detailed?)

All together - including premenstrual symptoms - a woman faces roughly about 2 weeks (out of the month) of this hormone bonanza and all its crazy effects.

I'll get to my point now: Today, I took a look at my "always ultra thins" and the adhesive on the handy wings of the pad said: "have a happy period!"




and to that, i say: Fuck you, dumbass. There's no such thing, asshole.



-The menstruating xtine

INDECISIVE PEOPLE CAN'T PLAN WEDDINGS

We got engaged on May 31st, 2009. And our official wedding date is.. *drrrrum roolll* June 11, 2011. 24 month engagement? UNHEARD of, right? Probably the longest engagement WE'VE even heard of.



Besides the maybe not so obvious extensive financial planning we must endure for this wedding, we've been taking our time primarily because I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I WANT. It was an instant desire to have a destination wedding.. think small crowd dressed in pastel linens - lots of beige and pure white. Blue ocean, white sands, sunset. Seashell decor, votive candles dressing the tables, maybe a few anchors here and there, .. etc,etc etc.

Ah yes, this was my dream until I saw pictures of weddings full of GRAND elegance - ceiling to the floor. Now, I'm talking gold linens, tall centerpieces, chiavari chairs, chandeliers, princess ball gowns (questionable) etc etc etc. This is NOW my dream.. and the one I'm following through with.

It was also an instant desire to have a lace body fitting wedding dress.. something along the lines of Jim Hjelm's collection. Recently though, (here it comes, another switcheroo) I've been loving the idea empire waisted taffeta and whimsical fairy looks. Don't even get me started on what I've been wanting for my pretty BMs.. My ideas change every second of the clock or with every other weddingblog picture I see. Sorry my beautiful bm's! We still have a lot of time, anyway.... right? :)

So where are we now on our time line? one, two... four, five, SIX months later, we've made three and a half decisions: DATE/LOCATION/BRIDAL PARTY (one half). ( Looks like Adrian is a little indecisive, too! ) The budget isn't even decided on.. All I know is that I should feel like a hoarder of money this next year and a half except cuter, cleaner and more mentally stable than the hoarders you see on TV.

After the wedding show this weekend, I am filled with ideas and sheer excitement. I feel like we're finally headed in a specific direction! FI NA LEEE! But it still remains the truth that I am probably the most indecisive person you know.. Ergo, we have 'budgeted' (budget, what does that even mean?) for a wedding coordinator. alllleeelluuuiaa!

Bottom line: indecisive people can't plan much.. let alone, their own darn wedding. Maybe the 24 month engagement wasn't such a bad idea, huh?


linklovin:
http://www.eventsbyemma.com/
our wedding planner. we've just had our first official meeting, and she's superb!

http://www.weddingbee.com/
my favourite wedding blog and soundboard

http://www.blfstudios.com/blog/?p=704
our photographer's blog - bond and leah freyer have the most beautiful photos!

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

. .ARE stupid.

I sit in my kitchen counter where in front of me, is a luscious looking 2L bottle of coke (not diet, not coke zero, but real, amazing, original, sweet, fizzy coke - FRESH from the fridge, to boot!). I focus on my laptop's entertainment, keeping my eyes on the screen.. occasionally letting my eye glance to the coke bottle - so guiltly, too - then quickly glance down to my keyboard...fumble with my fingers..and force myself to continue reading my blogs and sing with ke$ha* to block out my mind.

Then I start to let my head toy with the idea of taking a glass, filling it with ice, and pouring the coke into the glass.. I am now in sensory overload! I'm salivating like pavlov's dogs and my eyes at this point are fixated solely on the coke bottle.

Then I start rationalizing - I've done pretty good .. having only one glass of coke sometime last week. I can have just half a glass, it'll take care of the craving.

Then I get mad - good god, christine, get a hold of yourself, IT'S POP! I go get a glass of water and unfortunately (but expectedly) I am not satisfied - not even close!

Then I get an overwhelming sense of determination! I AM BETTER THAN YOU, YOU SUGAR FILLED CHEMICAL DRINK! I will overcome you! Just becuase you've been in my life since forever,doesn't mean I CAN'T CUT YOU OUT.

Then I say FUCK IT, open the bottle and poor me a full glass on the rocks. (very hastily as though someone is going to stop me**)


I drink it, enjoy it in the moment.. not thinking about anything but..

ahhh...

soo goood...

Then immediate regret (like the kind you get as you walk out of a store post- purchasing a ridiculous overpriced blouse for no real reason except the fact you have irrational 'needs' for apparel***)

Then writing a facebook note about this whole experience.. humorous NOW, definitely psychotic mind processing at the time.




SO CHEERS TO NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS.

CHEERS also to falling off the bandwagon, because it's gonna happen.. AND

CHEERS to having the strength to hop right back on, because you sooo CAN!





*who, btw, is tied in my books with lady gaga these days! amazing!
**adrian wasn't around, so i was in the clear!
*** i promse this hasn't happened in the last year.