MONEY

I sometimes wish I had all of it.. or none of it. And be gone with being in the middle.

SIGNS

1. oasis HD featured France in the episode I watched yesterday
2. Today's paper featered Mykonos and Santorini in their travel section
3. I came accross a very trendy version of a travel guide to France while I was at the mall
4. My coworker and I had an intense conversation about his 6 month trip to Europe.
5. My newly found blogger (someone I found on fb and tumblr) had a mother load of posts and pictures of Western Europe.

The more I see these photos and hear other peoples' stories, the more my mind runs through my own memories of our short trip to Europe. I haven't traveled much at all but it's hard to describe my feelings for Europe, more specifically France. I didn't get to travel throughout France very much but whenever my mind snaps back to us walking through Paris my heart pitter patters and smiles dreamlily at my thoughts. I've been wanting to go through my photos but I avoid doing so because it almost hurts to look at it. I miss every second of it and have been longing to go back for a while now.

Ok let's describe it this way..It almost feels like Paris was an amazing, hot and heavy, but short fling I had back in 2009. Star crossed lovers brought to eachother by fate. Then suddenly, we were torn apart and I never heard from him again. All I have now are my memories and photos to remember our time together. I hear of other peoples' flings with him and then pangs of jealousy, longing, happiness and sadness all simoultaneously mix into my chest.

This sounds so emotional, but I kid you not, this is truly what I feel when I see and hear other peoples' stories of Paris. I've always wanted to travel to other places, but these emotions are so intense that I feel like I'd rather just go back to France rather than travel to other parts of the world I've never been to. Traveling everywhere used to be my dream, but France is where I want to be.

He's calling my name.. *sigh

THE STRUGGLE TO STAY CONNECTED

I've spent many many drunken nights with my good old blackberry bold. (I've only had it for 6 months... ) When you're holding your phone and your vodka cran in one hand, sometimes you lose grip of the phone.. not sometimes- but very often. I mean, when it comes down to it.... what really IS more important? My 5 dollar cocktail or my phone? Right? My point is, my phone has seen it's rougher days but never has it actually said "OKAY THAT'S IT YOU NEGLEGENT PHONE OWNER" and given up on me. It's been so good to me!

Until....

I was enjoying the company of my ever so handsome Max and decided to hand him over my blackberry. He just loves pressing buttons! BUT, he's also decided that throwing things on the floor and listening to the loud clang is super enjoyable.

So...

My phone's broken. Byebye bbm, byebye data, byebye facebook whereever I please, byebye CONNECTED.



It's a hundred times more shitty because the only thing wrong with it is the screen. It functions normally, recieving texts, bbms, makes phone calls, access to the internet.. but none of these functions are useful to me if the blasted screen doesn't work. So it dings and chirps whenever someone is trying to message or email me.. but all I can do is sit there and watch it blink red knowing I'll never know what that message held... (is that pathetic.. maybe.. a little)

I won't be getting a new phone for at least another 2 weeks, but holy camole, I thought it would be easier to be disconnected. I guess I didn't realize how much I depended on my phone for entertainment. I told Dre that I could probably try to live without a smartphone.. to which he replied with a look that stated "you're joking right? you, babe?".

I'm taking this as a challenge. I SO can live without being connected via a smartphone.. I mean, what have we come to?? I can live without bbm, I can live with out 24/7 access to the wonderful world wide web. YES I CAN!

With a little struggle, yes.. I think I can. Well, bottom line is, I really don't even have a choice BUT to live without it. Wish me luck!

THE TERROR THAT IS THE BATHING SUIT.

Ok ladies, the sun's presence is making itself increasingly familiar here in ywg and there's a quiet but familiar fear that's creeping up behind me as the seasons change.

As I shed the layers of black, studded and leather goodies, I am reminded that my fashion kryptonite is summer. Living here makes you an expert at dressing in layers and for the seasons fall and winter. It also makes you quite amateur at dressing for anything warmer than 15 degrees celsius.

Given the near 30 degree weather we've been having lately, the beach has been on my mind. Which, simply means I've been running like a mad woman (outside more than inside to work on getting back some colour) and shopping online for some figure flattering *insert ominous music here* BATHING SUITS.

I'm over the bikini...(that's a lie, I'm not over it, I just can't wear them anymore) and I've come to the conclusion that your basic tankini is just not flattering.

I am loooove the 60's inspired suits. I tried some on recently and THEY ARE A WINNER, ladies!! Flattering, tasteful and sexy.

MY FIRST TRY

My favourite accessories are my feather earrings. I have several pairs and I wear them often. This one didn't come in a set- just one. I love feathers so much that you best believe that my bm's and moh's will be sporting some of these beauties on the big day! Check out Ruby Feathers, a local maker of fabulous leather and feather goodies. I don't know how I'll incorporate it for myself, yet.

CONTRADICTION

I follow a handful of fashion/photography blogs on a daily basis. It was the reason I started this blog in the first place.. Such an inspiration to see other young people with their fingers on the pulses of fashion, art and photography and share their passions with the rest of us meek observers.

When I started this blog, I didn't want it to become a 'dear diary' exposed to the general web public.. but I didn't think I had my hands deep enough in the vast world that is 'fashion' to have a whole blog based on it.

The more blogs I read, the further I feel from succeeding at the task at hand (which is to create an interesting, witty, fashion filled blog readable to all audiences). The more I read, the more I realize that I am a walking blog-tradiction.

Simply put, my life seems the exact opposie of the guys and gals I so religiously follow . I'm a full time nurse.. THEY are photographers, people watchers, fashion students and journalists. I spend most of my time dressed in lime green, hot pink and yellow floral scrubs. THEY spend their days learning the industry, wearing trendsetting outfits loud and proud. I'm a flippin blogtradiction.

Anyway, I've decided to take things a little further.. after all, I'm actually only a part time nurse.. maybe not so much a blog-tradiction as I initially thought?? Keep posted for more!

HAVE A GOOD DAY

I work a 0.2 EFT at a palliative care ward. I've always loved palliative care - i find that it takes on an entirely different realm of nursing that you often don't see in acute care wards. I just started there and I'm finding the constant transition between an acute surgical ward to a palliative care ward a little challenging.. espcially when it comes to interpersonal communication. What do you say to someone who's just lost their father? You don't come accross that often on a surgical ward, thank goodness.

I had my first death the other day. No surprise. The man was dying and the family was at the bedside. No matter how much you prepare yourself mentally for an event like this, the reality of the situation when it occurs will never compare.

So, what do you say?

After all was said and done, the family thanked us at the desk and said goodbye. I walked them off the ward, hugged the wife and told the son.....to....uh...

HAVE A GOOD DAY?

Yes, I said that. Ridiculous. Immediately after the words rolled of my tongue, I had a twisting feeling in my gut that made me want to apologize for the blunder. I just walked away and took this as a lesson. If you don't know what to say, don't say anything.